Please let’s talk about how utterly horrendous pregnancy nausea is. Or at least, please let me tell you about my experience of it, which – you’ve been warned – I’m going to find hard to sugar coat. Continue reading Surviving Pregnancy Nausea: A Rough Guide to Feeling Rough
There’s something very wrong with the formalities of marriage within England and Wales that you’re probably not aware of. I wasn’t, until my now-husband and I tied the knot. This problem applies no matter what type of wedding you have, or what kind of officiant marries you. First of all, I’d like you to take a look at this example marriage certificate which I pulled … Continue reading The Problem With Marriage
A few years ago on this blog, I wrote a post entitled ‘Don’t Call Me A Feminist’. I’d link back to it for you to read had I not deleted it. I deleted it because over time, I realised I completely disagreed with myself and my ‘points’. Perhaps deleting past posts for this kind of reason is cowardly, and maybe there is a little cowardliness … Continue reading Of Course I’m a Feminist
Dear Julien Blanc, See, told you. I’m not the only one who thinks you’re a flagrant cunt flag. The UK, amongst other countries, also share my sentiments. Now, go whip your shriveled flap stick elsewhere, preferably not on Planet Earth, or anywhere within this mighty Universe, if you can help it. Nobody likes you; if you think you’ve got a sense of humour as you … Continue reading Follow Up Letter to Julien Blancmange
Dear Julien Blanc, How’s your dick today? Have you still got one even? How’s your tour going? I hear not so well; sorry about that hiccup in Australia – that must have really set your confidence back, I imagine even more so now Brazil have declared you a pariah too, and, it looks like, the UK are about to take the same line of opinion … Continue reading A Letter to Julien Blanc
My previous Cornish-themed post turned out to be quite popular. So I thought it would be nice to offer a few tips to those amongst you who aren’t Cornish, but fancy having a go at it. You’re welcome. 1. Learn the correct pronunciation of deceptively spelt Cornish places. Read: Mousehole is pronounced ‘Mowzel’; Launceston is pronounced ‘Larnson’; Truro, ‘Chrurew’; St. Austell, ‘Sen Ozzel’; Liskeard, ‘Lisgard’; … Continue reading How to Pretend You’re a Cornishperson
If you’re self-employed, and have to fill out a tax return each year, you’ll know only too well that now’s the time when the term ‘self assessment’ takes on a dirty sentiment. Its assonance as good as a foul tasting hiss, the expression is as near to an insult as it can get come January, like spitting at someone you don’t like as you pass … Continue reading 10 Ways to Avoid Doing Your Tax Return
1. Cornish people inherently talk a lot, enthusiastically. And repeat themselves. I don’t know what it is about garrulousness and Cornish people, but talk we can. And we repeat ourselves. We talk about all kinds of stuff with unfettered enthusiasm, but the rest of the world only understand a maximum of 60% of what we say, even if we haven’t lived in Cornwall for ages … Continue reading How To Spot A Cornish Person
Ah, Christmas! ‘Tis the season where it’s imperative to bust out the joy and smile at everyone while you vie with people in shops, getting bashed over the head by mentalists who can’t control their shopping baskets in Tiger. I actually really love Christmas, but I’m in a bad mood this weekend, and have lost my shit a bit about this ridiculous trend for Christmas … Continue reading 10 Trivial Things That Are Completely Unacceptable
It’s probably quite evident that I’m all about a good funny thing. I love laughing – it’s my favourite thing to do, above eating, kissing and clothes – and as luck would have it, I have a bit of a Murphy’s Touch, which means I often facilitate my own amusement. For instance, over the last few weeks since my last post, I’ve managed to… 1) … Continue reading Let’s Talk About Keks, Baby…
The Girl With the Rabbit Tattoo 